I Used To Have A Brain: I Resolve To: the realistic version

Kids Say The Darndest Things!

Kids are hilarious and I'm lucky enough to have them cracking me up every single day, so how can I not share them with you! These are just some of the funny things they say.

Izzy, referring to her doll who was apparently very fashionable. "She's very stashinal."

Connor had drooled on Izzy's doctor kit, daycare boy told her, "you should put your dr. kit in your room." Izzy replies very casually, "That's ok, I don't care if he throws up on it."

Izzy told me today, "I'm 4 now." me: "Oh really, when did you turn 4?" Izzy: "I don't know, I just learned my ABC's."

While cleaning up the Elefun game after deciding she didn't want to play anymore, and while Connor was starting to get into the butterflies, Izzy tells him, "Consadurations Connor but you can't play this anymore. I can teach you how to play baseball though!"

Conversation between Izzy and daycare boy. Izzy, "Your froggy umbrella has big eyes!" daycare boy, "I know that Izzy, that's because I love him!"

While visiting my sister-in-law's new house, Mikayla started screaming bloody murder. Nana asked, "Do you have a sliver?" Mikayla while still screaming and sobbing, "No, I have a stick under my skin!!"

We had wild rice casserole for dinner, and Izzy decided to play with it for some reason, making a huge mess and getting it all over her hands. This was her prayer at the end of dinner, "Dear God, thank you for my food, thank you for my family, thank you for my friends, and thank you for being messy! Amen"

Mikayla was writing a story on the computer, and we had just talked about semicolons, when she announced to me that, "I think if I have a boy when I grow up I'll name him Colon, that sounds like a good name." Upon further discussion she decided that perhaps Collin was a better name for a little boy.

Izzy, while playing with little Beauty and the Beast figures: "I can show you the ways of being a normal person. Pick berries, read, wash your hands a lot... " all said with a British accent.

I asked the kids what they like to dream about, Izzy answered, "Princesses.... Meat.... My family....."

Last night we were at my cousins' house and they had a very large family picture framed and hung on the wall. Mikayla looked at it and casually said, "They must have taken that picture with a really big camera."

Daycare Boy after ghost hunting: "I wish I had a pet dinosaur made out of mud!" Because clearly only mud dinosaurs would protect him.

Connor trying to say the word "helicopter": "Bobbicocker"

Izzy randomly asks, "Why did God give us a head?"

Connor heard the outer door getting blown open by the wind and, startled, asks "Who's coming?". Like the good mom I am I say very surprised like, "Monsters are coming" and continues to stare. So I say, "Robots are coming!" Very seriously Connor tells me, "How about Care bears are coming!"

On the way to gymnastics we played a game, here's an excerpt:

Me - "Something I want you to do, it starts with an F, ends with an S, and has a C in the middle"

Mikayla - "Frapaccinos!!!" (intended word was Focus)

Me - "Something I want you to have... I want you to have__"

Izzy - "Babies!!!!" (intended word was FUN!)

Monday, January 2, 2012

I Resolve To: the realistic version

I don't do resolutions. But perhaps this year I will? But just one, because I want to be realistic here.

I resolve, in the year 2012, to get super fat. Not in a baby-in-the-belly kind of way, but an ate-too-many-cookies-and-cheese sort of way.

That way when I fail my resolution I won't be at all disappointed.