Bullies

Bullies.


         image taken from google images

Every grade has them.  Most classes have them to some extent, even among the Kindergartners (and some preschool class rooms probably I'm sure).

Mikayla is nine years old and has already dealt with a few different bullies.  In Kindergarten and 1st grade it was a couple boys who were mean to everyone and pushing them around, threatening them with nasty looks.  In second grade it was more the mean girl kind of bullying.  She's in third grade now and has a particular boy in her class that is both obnoxiously distracting and physically aggressive.  I'd pick him up by his collar and scream in his face if I didn't think I'd get arrested.

The bullying this year has just recently started, and her class has been a mess of teacher switching because her main teacher has had a lot of back problems, so when Mikayla told us about this kid last weekend I told her if it happens again to tell her new teacher.  We are hoping her new teacher is strict and vigilant about this kind of behavior and will turn it around.

If the teacher doesn't do anything or it happens again though?  We told her this:  First get in his face and yell at him in your angriest voice, "Don't hit/kick me again or I'll hit/kick you back harder!!"  And if he takes it as a challenge and keeps it up then we gave her full permission to use what she learned in 21 months of karate and knock him on his nasty little butt.  She's a really strong girl, she could do it!  We told her if she were to get in trouble for it, and only if he got physical first, we would stand up for her.

I was bullied when I was a kid.  First in Kindergarten, then again in 6th grade, with some mean-girl junk somewhere in between.  In Kindergarten I had to walk quite a ways (at least it felt like it to my 5 year old self) down the road to my bus stop.  There I'd have to wait for the bus with two other Kindergarten girls who lived right next to each other and were good friends, and little b*&#@'s.  I'd have to get there about 5 minutes before the bus came to make sure I wasn't late or anything, and then they would torment me.  Pushing me around, knocking me to the ground, and when there was snow on the ground they'd throw big hard snow chunks the plows left at me until I cried.

Once there was enough snow to have created a big mound at the end of a driveway about half the way to the bus stop, I'd crouch next to that, hidden from those girls, and watch for the bus to pull onto our street.  Then I'd have to run like hell to get to the bus stop, where the bus driver would very irritably tell me to get to the bus stop sooner so he wouldn't have to wait.  I was five.

My parents had no idea this was going on because I never let on.  I don't know why I didn't tell them, I know they would have helped me if I had told them but for some reason I didn't.  I really wish I had.  They didn't find out until after the school year I think when a neighbor mentioned to them that they had seen me sitting in that other driveway before the bus came.  I don't remember what all the story was there, but I wish she had mentioned something to my parents sooner.

In 6th grade I was sitting in the back of the bus with my little sister and 2 other 6th grade boys.  For whatever reason those boys decided I'd be their kicking bag and the object of their constant teasing.  I came home crying most days, hiding it well from my parents.  I don't know exactly why I didn't tell them about it, whether it was out of embarrassment or fear of it being worse if they did something about it.  I wish I had told them about it earlier because when I broke down crying one night and told my parents, my dad got pretty pissed at them.  He got in the van with me and I showed them where the boys lived and he drove to each house and went in to talk to their parents.  I don't know exactly what was said, but it did get better after that.  I'm glad he talked to them, and I'm sure he would have rather kicked them right back for me, but knowing my dad he was probably much more of a calm storm than what was going on in his head.

I only wish I had been the kind of kid that would have been able to stand up for myself better.  I was quiet, shy, and other than some weird game where my friends would call me "Abigail" and I'd punch them in the arm, passive.  I guess I was an easy target, which is what I don't want for my kids.

We told Mikayla, and will be talking to Izzy about as well very soon, not to let herself be an easy target, and to always come to us when stuff like that happens because we (like most parents) will always be in her corner.  At the age she's at right now, most kids will back down if the victim puts up any kind of believable fight.  "Get in their face and make them be afraid of what you will do to them" is what we told her.  It's not the kind of thing I had the guts to do in elementary school, but I really wish I had.  Lots of things made me stronger as I grew up and learned more about life, and though I'm still pretty quiet much of the time, and the idea of confrontation fills me with anxiety, I'm a lot stronger.

Bullies are everywhere, and unfortunately we can't always count on teachers and school staff to see or do anything about it.  There are lots of teachers, some that I know personally, that are fantastic anti-bullying advocates, but there are too many out there that stand idly by and do nothing, or not enough.  And if the bully's parents are told about the behavior and do nothing about it, then there's not much a school can do other than expel the child when it gets to a certain point.  We've all seen the articles and news stories about kids getting bullied to the point of suicide in middle and high school, and the teachers and staff can't be everywhere and sometimes just don't know what to do about it.  It's worse these days than when I grew up, because it's not just school, parks, neighborhoods that it happens in, it's online.  Kids are getting viciously harassed on facebook pages and through text messages. Nasty lies and names can be spread to an entire school in a matter of seconds.

I don't have the answers to the big stuff, except to raise your children to accept people for their character no matter how different they act/look/believe/are. [[edited to add: I also realize that being a strong kid and them standing up for themselves will not always save them from harassment and violence.  I don't for one second mean to imply that a child is being bullied because they aren't standing up for themselves properly, only that it can help when no one else is standing up for them. ]] I don't have the answers, but we're trying our best to raise strong daughters and a strong son that will be compassionate and stand up for themselves and their peers.  Because, unfortunately, bullies will never be a thing of the past.

Homework - Asking for Advice

When Sweet Pea started Kindergarten she only had a tiny bit of homework every week.  She had to read or be read to for 5-10 minutes every night and had a worksheet to do once a week.  That worksheet always came on the same day so it was easy to remember that that was homework night.

As she's gotten older she's had more and more homework, and now that she's in 3rd grade, it seems to have bumped up considerably.  It's also random throughout the week based on what she wasn't able to finish in class.  She also has chores to keep up on at home, which aren't too time consuming but add up.  And we like to hang out with her as well, and she likes to go to friends' houses.

Homework is getting harder to keep up on.... and I know it's only going to get worse.

Until now we have agreed that after a full day of school, the kids deserve a break away from school stuff to relax at home for a little while before jumping back into it.  The problem arises when that break goes too long and nobody remembers that there is homework to be done.  We thought that after dinner would be a good time to remember to get it done, but it isn't working because fun things tend to come up after dinner causing her to either rush through it or forget all about it.  By the end of the day we're exhausted too and it can be hard to remember to get her on her homework.

So in order for her to get her homework done and out of the way so she can do other fun things that may come up later in the evening, she's going to have to get her homework done first thing after school.  I'm not happy about it, because I think she needs a break, but doing at other times doesn't seem to work right now.  Maybe as she matures and becomes more responsible and can focus on her work better?

My Question to all parents with school-agers, especially if they are older and you've been through this stuff before:  How do you handle homework?  I need some advice on homework policies and what works for other people.

First Days of School, aka, Make her stop growing!

It's the first day of school today, and although I'm going to miss having SP around during the day, she was really excited about getting back to school with her friends, her new teacher, and her new classroom!  Every morning on the first day of school we take bunch of pictures, and after she left today I looked back at how much she's grown up over the last few years!

Kindergarten

1st Grade

 2nd Grade

 3rd Grade

Strike a pose!

 Walking back from the bus stop Spencer and I were struck with the realization that in just 3 years our first born will be in Middle School, our 2nd born will be in 2nd grade, and our baby will be in Kindergarten!  That's going to be one exciting day for the kids, and an awfully tough one for Mom!

I'll tell you about how SP's first day went, and about BD's first day of Pre-K in my next post!

Name Printing Practice Cards

I've been finding and reading a lot of blogs about preschool and homeschool and all that fun stuff.  The best part is finding ideas of things to do with my kids.  I figured it was my turn to show you a simple thing you can do to help your preschooler learn to correctly print his or her name.

You will need:
Index card - blank or lined, I used blank
Handwriting practice paper - look below
Glue stick
Laminating materials or Clear contact paper - I use contact paper
Pen or Pencil
Dry erase markers

First take some paper like the one pictured below, or click here like I did and print it off.  They have two sizes, the kindergarten size is about an inch tall from bottom line to top line, the preschool size is much bigger.  I went with the kindergarten size because my kids ("my" meaning my kids and/or my daycare kids) tend to print their names approximately that size already.

Print their name on one of the lines.

 Then cut it out with another handwriting line below the child's name.  Then use a glue stick to glue it down to the index card.  Using a laminating machine (which I don't have) or clear contact paper (poor man's laminater, what I do have) laminate the whole thing.

Then have your child trace his/her name using a dry erase marker, and then they can print their name on their own on the lines below. 

You can make a larger one with more tracing opportunities, but I like the size and convenience of the index card.  Babydoll is working on uniform sized letters and printing them between the correct lines, I have a daycare kiddo that mixes up the order of the letters in his name, so when it is time to write their names on their papers/artwork I give them their name index card to look at as a reference.

In other news, Spencer got his LONG awaited tattoo last night, and he loves it!  It looks really cool! I'm still getting used to the size of it, as it's bigger than I expected, but I like it. 

So you'll have to excuse me now, I have to go rub A&D ointment on my husband's tattooed back.



Why Babydoll won't be going to "regular" preschool in the fall.

While I am not technically a homeschooler, since my 2nd grade daughter goes to the public school in our neighborhood, I sort of am. I guess you could say I homeschool my preschoolers. I teach a developmentally appropriate preschool curriculum that spans multiple developmental and academic areas.

When Sweet Pea was little we decided to send her to preschool at our church.  We felt it was important for her to get used to a classroom setting that didn't involve mom teaching her, before she started kindergarten.  Social, we knew she would need no practice at making friends.  None whatsoever.  She was a social butterfly from the start and has always been able to make friends wherever she goes.  Turns out she could have jumped into Kindergarten the next year without ever stepping foot in the preschool, and she would have done just as well.

Adorable Sweet Pea on her first day of preschool. I'll have to be sure to get Babydoll dressed this cute for her first day photo this fall!



That said, the following is why we are not sending Babydoll to preschool somewhere else in the fall.  When I break down how much of the 2.5 hours of preschool was actually spent learning, it falls far short of the active learning time I do with my preschoolers at home.  For instance there is getting ready for and walking to snack, eating snack, cleaning up after snack, bathroom breaks, getting bundled up to go outside, waiting for everyone to finish bundling up, going outside, playing outside, coming in and taking all that stuff off again and putting it away.  more bathroom breaks somewhere in there, small-group time at play/learning areas like kitchen areas, drawing, sensory, blocks, cars, etc (which can be found throughout the day at any decent daycare); and all the transition time and waiting for children who are not paying attention (which I'll admit was sometimes Sweet Pea).  We do more in our 1.5 hour block of preschool than regular preschools (not all I'm sure though) accomplish in 2.5.

Bulletin board area

She will learn at her pace, not the pace of the curriculum planner.  If she already knows her letters (which she does) she should be spending time mastering their sounds and blending them together to form words, rather than "waisting" time going over stuff she already knows well.  On the flip side, if everyone else can identify their numbers through 20 and Babydoll can't (which she can't yet) I can spend more time on that with her and she won't be left in someone else's dust.

It's cheaper to teach her myself.  I have been spending over $50 per month ordering curriculum for my preschoolers, but now that I'll have 2 years worth of full curriculum (only thing missing is some of the craft kits) all I'll have to pay for is new supplies.  I'll also be able to spend some of that money and time on adding to the curriculum.  It is a lot more work to plan a preschool lesson plan than it is to just write a check and drop them off at school, but I find it rewarding and so so worth it!

M mountains

Some people will ask us how she'll make friends.  If we're not paying for preschool, we'll be able to sign her up for things like ECFE classes for kids her age, gymnastics classes, I don't think I'll do dance again... I don't appreciate the direction most studios take them as far as costuming and dance styles.  She'll continue to make friends in Sunday school, and we'll have to be more diligent about scheduling play dates for her.

I firmly believe that she will be more than ready for Kindergarten when she starts in September 2012!

Planning + Preparing = Wonderful

Yesterday was wonderful. Today is wonderful.  And not just because it's my birthday today.  Let me elaborate (because if I left it at the previous three sentences you'd never visit again).

All weekend I poured over a blog that I recently discovered.  Actually I didn't discover it so much as a friend "liked" it on facebook and I checked it out from there.  So really she gets credit for my lame attempt at getting the laundry done.  Thanks Nichole!  I'll talk more about what I've picked up from that blog in another post.

Since I got only one load of laundry done, and didn't feel like doing more at 10:00, I prepared for work the next day.  I pulled out everything we were going to be doing for preschool in the morning, picked up the living room, dining room, and most of the kitchen (which of course was trashed again two hours after the kids arrived, but that's just how it works), picked up the bathroom so I could clean it in the morning, detailed my lesson plan for the next day, and (most importantly) set the coffee pot to have coffee ready to pour when I woke up.

The next morning was beautiful!  I woke up and poured myself a fresh cup of coffee, got dressed, actually did my makeup (rare occurance during the day), and sat down to check my email, facebook, and blogs while I sipped coffee and waited for kids to wake up and arrive! 

This was so much nicer than waking up and seeing all the crap we hadn't put away yet from the day before, and trying to get that done before the daycare kids arrived.  It really set a positive tone for the rest of the day.

Since I had pulled everything out for preschool already, when 9:30 rolled around and the preschoolers came inside from sledding, everything was ready to go and we got started without any lag time.  I also had things pulled out for the toddlers to do during this time, but tonight I'm going to take it a step further and plan more learning center material for them to do on their own while I'm helping the preschoolers with things.

Everything went so smoothly, and it really only took about an hour of prep work the night before.  Because everything flowed smoothly the kids were in great moods, which of course means they retained information more easily and participated with extra enthusiasm.  I was in a great mood, which really is beneficial for all right?  Since I did the same prep work last night, plus a little extra, today has been going just as well! 

All morning I've been feeling the birthday love, and have been enjoying the chaos-free home, which is making me one happy lady!

Phonics Toys That Ticked Me Off

I love educational toys. Love love love educational toys.  Because I have young children, and I do daycare, and I teach preschool to these children, I get to research them, buy them, and use them whenever I want.  For the most part I'm pretty good at picking out educational supplies and toys, but sometimes they wind up backfiring on me.

These magnet letters for the Leap Frog Fridge Phonics dealibobbers are one of those toys.

In general I love these dealibobbers! (fun word huh?) The single Fridge Phonics one teaches the letters and the letter sounds, the Word Whammer teaches the letters, letter sounds, and has different settings for spelling real words and creating words on their own.

                                
 
Both Thingymajiggies have a music button that when you press it, it sings the alphabet... this is a VERY popular button let me tell you.  And, thank the creators for including a volume switch!

These have both been well-loved toys.  Sadly though, the Word Whammer was purchased way back when Sweet Pea was 2 or 3 years old and we've lost most of the letters for it, and it doesn't work anymore, so that's a bummer.  Also sad, I have tried replacing the batteries for the single unit but it doesn't seem to be working anymore either.. it is only a couple years old. 

The only problem I have with this toy, and it's an annoying one, is that we have been using the letters as fridge magnets for holding various art and papers to the fridge... except they don't ever stay on the fridge. 

The are big enough to not be a choking hazard if they fall onto the floor and into the hands of a little kid, but they are also big enough to be really easily bumped into when walking around the fridge.  Not to mention Little Man's favorite thing to do with the magnets (since the doohickies aren't working) is to swish all the magnets within reach onto the floor, which means they fall to the floor, get kicked around, stepped on, and are always in the way when sweeping!

groan.

this has been an all too common sight for far too long.

I finally got sick of it and put up the thingymajigs and threw all unused magnet letters into a bag and hung that bag up in a cupboard.  I did not do this with any kind of cheer or good feelings... I threw the letters in the bag and stuffed that bag away as quickly as possible... I had kicked my last magnet across the floor!

Or so I thought.

Because we're still using some of the letters as fridge magnets.. because they are holding stuff up... they are apparently still determined to be on my floor.  When I knocked one down today I wanted to throw the damn thing out the window!

I guess a run to the store is in order where I can find a better type of magnet for my fridge... big enough to not be choked on or swallowed, strong enough to hold up paper, and flat enough to not be a shoulder hazard.

All this lamenting aside, they are great toys, but only under these circumstances:

Your fridge is located in a spot where you will not walk past it and brush it with your arm.

or

You keep the magnets in a container only to be brought out when used and put away when not.

for example

You wouldn't even need to use them on the fridge, play with them at the table, also baking

sheets make excellent surfaces for playing with magnetic letters or numbers.



These circumstances are what keep me from throwing my Fridge Phonics thingy away all together.  If I can get it working again (perhaps different batteries.. the ones I tried were unused but pretty old) I'll bag it up in a zippered bag and it will come out to be used at the table. 

I really don't know why I'm hanging onto the non-functioning-letter-missing word whammer.

That I should really just go toss out now.

All in all, it's a pretty great toy... just don't count on those fridge phonics magnets necessarily staying on the fridge.

Preschool at My House!

We officially started preschool during daycare last week!  While I enjoy taking a break in planning a curriculum during the summer, I'm always excited to get back into it in the fall.  New supplies, new ideas, and a fresh new school year!

Last year I taught using the Fireflies curriculum from Funshine Express.  In past years I have used Mother Goose Time, Carols Affordable Curriculum, and made my own based on the many early childhood books and websites I have in my arsenal.  Funshine Express and Mother Goose Time are both really great curriculum, but Funshine express is just a bit less expensive - and since I don't charge my daycare parents for preschool... every dollar counts!

My goal is to save a couple years worth of curriculum guides, supplies, and materials so I will be able to stop ordering them but keep on teaching them on a two or three year rotating schedule.  Every month I make copies of the worksheets and parent hand-outs, save all of the supplies and teaching guides, and one day I'll only have to plan the corresponding crafts, and make the typical adjustments based on developmental levels of the children (this is the part that takes the most time anyway)... the rest will be done.  I'll probably be able to do that after this school year!

This is our weather chart.  Every day someone gets to be the weather-watcher and it is their job to report what the weather is that day (or at least at that particular moment).  They then get to choose the correct weather picture and stick it on the chart for that day.

This is our calendar.  Everyday someone else gets to be the Calendar Helper.  We all say the days-of-the-week song, and today's date, and the calendar helper puts the date picture on the calendar.  It is also a pattern, so they get to practice recognizing patterns and predicting the next item every day as well!  The calendar and weather chart are from last years supplies, we'll be getting a new set later this month with October's order!

This week we start focusing on the alphabet with the letter A, but last week we were concentrating on rhyming.  We've been reading lots of poems, books that rhyme, playing concentration with flashcards that have rhyming pictures, rhyming word worksheets, and naming off words that rhyme throughout the day.  The whole point is to help them train their ears to pay attention to the sounds in words, to build phonemic awareness, which is vital in learning how to read. One of the poems we read is pictured above, and they almost have the whole thing memorized now because they like it so much.  To extend the activity we found and circled the words that rhymed with different colored crayons.  For example, we circled the words "go" and "so" with a blue crayon, and "bite" and "right" with a green crayon.  Then we made a craft which gave us the chance to practice tracing numbers 1-5, counting, color recognition, and gluing skills.

This week we are starting the letter A and Ants theme, I'm hoping to tell you about it next Monday!

First day of school!

My apologies for not blogging as often.  Between getting back into school and a cold that has snuck up on me, I haven't had time to put together a coherant post.  And to be honest, the season finale of Dexter will arrive tomorrow via netflix, so tomorrow night's post may be a bit lacking as well... or non-existant... or totally mindblowing... guess you'll have to wait and see :o)

I have a big Rennaissance Festival post coming up, but today will be a more pressing matter...

School started!!  My oldest child is officially a Second Grader!

The first day of school was rainy and cold in the morning, but the sun came out eventually.  It was a cool and windy day, but school started and I had the day off.  This means I didn't complain at all!

Here's our first day of school photo session, enjoy :o)

She had a great first, and second day at school and I've enjoyed having more one-on-one time with the littler people in my life :o)

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to watch an epiode of Dr. Quinn on gmc and go to bed!