Why do I know this? Because I was warned as a child not to lick metal in the winter or my tongue would stick.
Did I listen? Not really.
Generally speaking I was an obedient child, but I also have a curious nature - and you know what they say about curiosity.
Curiosity led me to learn about lots of different and wonderful things throughout my life, but it wasn't so helpful one cold day when I was little.
I'm not sure how old I was, I was no older than eight though because it was at my "old" house. My neighbor friend and her 74 big brothers were over in our yard sledding down the hill, through the open gate, and onto the frozen creek.
After sledding for a while, I looked at the metal chain-link fence that I'm pretty sure I had just ridden my sled into and wondered, does your tongue really stick to frozen metal, or is that just something grown ups say to you so you don't lick stuff?
And so I nonchalantly stood up to the fence, and put my tongue on it.
And I was stuck.
Not wanting to panic or ask for help (I've never been good at asking for help) I thought I could pull my tongue off.
So I put my lips on the bar for leverage.
And they got stuck too.
I don't know how many seconds or minutes I stood like that, not sure what to do, but I would have been mortified if my neighbor friend and her 74 brothers knew what had happened. The fear of being laughed at was too great. In fact my friend saw me and asked if I was ok.
I responded with , "lm lhm" in a very "yep, I'm just hanging out by the fence" kind of way.
It was time to free myself, so I did the only thing I could think of to do...
I braced myself, and yanked my face back away from the fence pole.
holy frankfurters did that hurt!!
I looked at the fence in front of me and there, staring at me, was the outer layer of skin from my tongue and lips!
I don't remember sledding anymore that day, but I do remember trying to figure out how to explain my mangled appearance to my parents without looking like a total idiot. I thought I had told them that I was sledding and crashed into the fence in such a way that my mouth got stuck to the top bar on the fence, but my parents tell me I fessed up at dinner when they asked what was wrong with my mouth.
So now, every year, I warn the kids not to put their mouths on anything outside or they'll get stuck, and it will hurt, and that I know this because I did it when I was a kid.
And then I shake my head at myself for being such a